A Poem for Epi

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

-Author unknown

Most people that met Epi never knew anything was wrong with her.  She lived life to play and have fun and she wasn't about to let bad kidneys stop her.  Epi would run laps around the couch and try to rip apart her favorite blue holey roller ball.  As she stood on the ball and pulled she would make funny "monkey" noises.  The first specialist we took Epi to actually told us nothing was wrong with her kidneys despite her blood values.  She suggested we recheck bloodwork in six months. She said that "Dogs in kidney failure don't run around and play like that" as Epi killed her favorite ball in the exam room at Mizzou.  Apparently, Epi didn't read the same books that doctor did, because Epi was in kidney failure even though she continued to act normal.

We went to the University of Illinois-Champaign/Urbana for a second opinion.  After some tests, the doctors there determined that Epi had ectopic ureturs and was unable to empty her bladder all the way.  After discussions with her team of doctors at U of I and VCA All Creatures, we made the decision not to biopsy the kidneys or pursue surgery to correct the ectopic ureturs.  Since Epi did not leak urine the surgeons thought correcting the ectopic ureturs could possibly make her situation worse by damaging her uretheral sphincter muscle, resulting in her being incontient and being prone to even more bladder infections. The definitive diagnosis of Epi's kidney problem could only be determined by the biopsy, but the surgery risked shutting down her kidney entirely.  The doctors determined that Epi either had glomerularnephritis or amyloidosis.  Since both are irreversable and cause protein loss, they are treated the same.  Instead of surgery, Epi was managed medically.  She was on a special homeade diet (developed for her by a veterinary nutrionist) and eight different medicenes a day.  Epi lived symptom free until April of 2007.  Her disease progressed steadily after that.

On June 15th, 2007, Chris and I made the difficult decision to end Epi's suffering. She was anemic and her kidney values were 15X the normal limits. She hadn't eaten in several days. Despite multiple trips to multiple universities, special diets, and daily subQ fluid thearpy, Epi was no longer happy. We spent the last year of her life trying to help her have the best quality life she could while she was still with us. She played everyday and got almost anything she wanted.  

Epi was an amazing little dog. She touched many lives and we all miss her dearly.

You are a good girl Epi, have fun in Heaven.  We love you and miss you.